Irrelevant Book Of The Day

http://www.kidswealthandconsequences.com/

Pandora

I think that Pandora should have a middle choice between thumbs up and thumbs down and it should he a guy shrugging. Jeremy Spoken on my Whipping Post station ehhh I feel very shrug about that. This does bring me to a funny point about Pandora it brings up some random ass shit some time, I'd say i spend about 10.34% of my time thinking "how did you decide that should he in there Pandy (thats the cute lil pet name I have for Pandora). Pandora seems to think I really want to listen to Lily Allen, like a lot, it is not trivially troubling. The worst though is when a downright insulting song comes, there are times when I think to myself "fuck you Pandora how dare you think I would ever want to listen to Something in Your Mouth by Nicklebck or anything else off of the compelation CD The Edge. Your various Pandora stations really say a lot about you. My friend has a Hit Me Baby One More Time station, at some point he sat and thought to himself wow I could really go for some Britney, but pre K-fed Loco Britney, more jail bait fuck me school girl Britney. You can't escape your stations you will be held accountable for them. The bottom line of Pandora is that no matter what music you claim to be into Pandora reads your subconscious to find what you secretly wanna hear. Maybe I should give Lily Allen a chance, I am worried though that she might be slippery slope leading to Josh Groban, eek.

No Ko

Lesbian

Kim Jung Il claims to shoots 38 under par averaging 11 holes in one

Kim Jung Il has a copy of detox

Kim Jung Il has his schools teach that his birth lead to a spontanious eruption of rainbows and the he doesn't poop

Kim Jung Il injects himself with the blood of virgins to stay young

China has a station that rents binoculars to its citizens to view what squalor the North Koreans live in. North Korea makes the perpetual risk of their government executing them seem pretty fucking good.

Terrible Tennis Bros

Michael Marrup

In high school I had a friend named Mike Marrup, he was a tennis player. He claimed to be about 160 but in reality he was a fat 170, he would say "up top bro!" when he wanted a two handed overhead high-five and would flex his "trap" when ever the song Real Big by Mannie Fresh came on. Woof, his behavior makes me shudder to this day, but as time has gone on and I have seen/interacted with other tennis players I've come to realize it was not his fault. Similar to the way racist childcare's parents are to blame for their bigotry, likely low test scores and and love of Jeff Foxworthy.

quick beer at the tennis courts

Tennis players inherently suck for reasons for which there is no consensus. My theory is that because tennis has waspy roots, they feel entitled and superior in a way that should be reserved only for polo players. This sense of entitlement leads to several unacceptable behaviors. Possibly the worst behavior is their love of the backwards hat, they are the only group of people who still religiously rock the backwards had like its the mid 90's. Another important issue us that they constantly talk about tennis players who are not Venus or Sarina Williams, Federer, or Nadal. Tennis

Normal 0 0 1 278 1588 13 3 1950 11.1287

some hawt get-ups

players are also always dressed like they are ready to throw down, carrying a tennis bag which may contain 12 rackets, short but loose shorts, a neon green tee from a tennis camp they "coached" at, and of course they are walking the generic adidas or nike mesh backwards hat. If they want to dress up a little they may thrown on a nice d-3 football coachesk nike polo. I feel the low point for tennis tools may have came the day I saw a coach at the airport-a place where it used to be expected to dress nicely -wearing black adids shorts a yellow stained adidas sports polo who had a tan on his face from his tightly wrapped Jeff Era Oalkleys. Tennis is producing the worst element of our society.

Ohio Girls

My dear old mom always wanted me to meet a sweet little Ohio girl and settle down, but she was not aware of the epidemic of orange skin and Ugg boots that is eating away at the gray matter of its victims brains.


Look at these poor girls, scientists beleive the infections caused by hair treatments, natty light, and spray tans has begun to erode the Myelin Sheath (which for those unfamiliar with neuro-science insulates connections between neurons so they can communicate faster).

Yes these poor girls addiction to "fashion" and looking "sexy" is literally slowing down their brains. As Ohio girls begin to converge into one person as is evident below, this disease will continue to degrade their brain function.

clones?

Looking into the eyes of the of the victims of this disease is like looking into a black hole, vapid and dark. The slowing of brain function causes these poor girl's causes all sorts of side effects. They think Dane Cook is really funny, the music of Rascal Flatts and Sugarland is really good, and love to compare their intelligence to that of 5th grader as often as possible.



But what happens to these girls when they grown up? They are cursed to a life where the pain of thought forces them to become exceedingly generic. The couple above are real they are not simply the stock photo of a picture frame. This poor woman has lost so much signal speed in her brain due to years of "beauty" abuse, that her brain can not work fast enough to form her own identity, she is instead an amalgamation of reality T.V., US weekly, and Lifetime movies. This is sadly, the state of women in Ohio and sadly women across much of the country.

Poor Labron

http://www.terezowens.com/exclusive-lebrons-teammate-sleeping-with-his-mom/

I suppose this means LBJ is gonna leave the Cleve for good.

Why I Love IMDB

I love IMDB because it is like that friend you abandoned in high school to go hang out with the cool kids who will never forget where you came from. Take for instance Alison Brie, budding starlet of Mad Men and Community, very beautful and talented enough to play the infertile Trudy Campbell and the the goofy innocent Annie Edison on Community. But IMDB will make sure we never forget that she was in a movie called "Hot Sluts" which is described by IMDB as:

"Endless cleavage, bitchy girl fights, and an 800-pound disco ball. All in one slutty nightclub"

Wow I am sure it was tastefully done. While my attempts to find this movie over the internet have failed (try searching Hot Sluts movie on google) I think it is safe to assume it is of the same quality as "Sex Pot" or "18 Year Old Virgin". 18 Year Old Virgin's tagline is: will Kattie give it up or give up?, fucking woof. But I digress while Alison Brie seems quite nice and plesant there are some people who need to read their IMDB more often to be reminded of where they came from.

Jamie Foxx: While Ray is a good film I think the academy award was more a tribute to Ray Charles than a testament to the acting chops of one Jamie Foxx. He should remind himself that in consecutive years he made "Booty Call" and "The Players Club".



Sean Penn: Great actor, but needs to remember the wise words of Spicoli, "All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buds, and I'm fine."

Jennifer Aniston: She is actually the inverse of Jammie Foxx, started off ok, but she needs to look at where her IMDB is going, she is becoming nothing more than "the girl" in movies. Although she was never that great I'd like to think she can do better than "The Bounty Hunter" (vom). Hopefully s dose of Jeff Goldblum and Jason Bateman will put her back on the right track.

Woof