Pandora

I think that Pandora should have a middle choice between thumbs up and thumbs down and it should he a guy shrugging. Jeremy Spoken on my Whipping Post station ehhh I feel very shrug about that. This does bring me to a funny point about Pandora it brings up some random ass shit some time, I'd say i spend about 10.34% of my time thinking "how did you decide that should he in there Pandy (thats the cute lil pet name I have for Pandora). Pandora seems to think I really want to listen to Lily Allen, like a lot, it is not trivially troubling. The worst though is when a downright insulting song comes, there are times when I think to myself "fuck you Pandora how dare you think I would ever want to listen to Something in Your Mouth by Nicklebck or anything else off of the compelation CD The Edge. Your various Pandora stations really say a lot about you. My friend has a Hit Me Baby One More Time station, at some point he sat and thought to himself wow I could really go for some Britney, but pre K-fed Loco Britney, more jail bait fuck me school girl Britney. You can't escape your stations you will be held accountable for them. The bottom line of Pandora is that no matter what music you claim to be into Pandora reads your subconscious to find what you secretly wanna hear. Maybe I should give Lily Allen a chance, I am worried though that she might be slippery slope leading to Josh Groban, eek.

No Ko

Lesbian

Kim Jung Il claims to shoots 38 under par averaging 11 holes in one

Kim Jung Il has a copy of detox

Kim Jung Il has his schools teach that his birth lead to a spontanious eruption of rainbows and the he doesn't poop

Kim Jung Il injects himself with the blood of virgins to stay young

China has a station that rents binoculars to its citizens to view what squalor the North Koreans live in. North Korea makes the perpetual risk of their government executing them seem pretty fucking good.

Terrible Tennis Bros

Michael Marrup

In high school I had a friend named Mike Marrup, he was a tennis player. He claimed to be about 160 but in reality he was a fat 170, he would say "up top bro!" when he wanted a two handed overhead high-five and would flex his "trap" when ever the song Real Big by Mannie Fresh came on. Woof, his behavior makes me shudder to this day, but as time has gone on and I have seen/interacted with other tennis players I've come to realize it was not his fault. Similar to the way racist childcare's parents are to blame for their bigotry, likely low test scores and and love of Jeff Foxworthy.

quick beer at the tennis courts

Tennis players inherently suck for reasons for which there is no consensus. My theory is that because tennis has waspy roots, they feel entitled and superior in a way that should be reserved only for polo players. This sense of entitlement leads to several unacceptable behaviors. Possibly the worst behavior is their love of the backwards hat, they are the only group of people who still religiously rock the backwards had like its the mid 90's. Another important issue us that they constantly talk about tennis players who are not Venus or Sarina Williams, Federer, or Nadal. Tennis

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some hawt get-ups

players are also always dressed like they are ready to throw down, carrying a tennis bag which may contain 12 rackets, short but loose shorts, a neon green tee from a tennis camp they "coached" at, and of course they are walking the generic adidas or nike mesh backwards hat. If they want to dress up a little they may thrown on a nice d-3 football coachesk nike polo. I feel the low point for tennis tools may have came the day I saw a coach at the airport-a place where it used to be expected to dress nicely -wearing black adids shorts a yellow stained adidas sports polo who had a tan on his face from his tightly wrapped Jeff Era Oalkleys. Tennis is producing the worst element of our society.