First off, fuck your bitch and the click you claim. Second off, Taz ain't hard baby.
Fact: Taz in one loony tunes episode agreed to marry Bugs bunny who was descized as a female taz.
Conclusion: Taz is gay.
Fact: Taz is crazy: I mean that's great and all, but crazy does not mean hard. There are plenty of soft ass crazy bros out there, but I ain't scared of none of em.
Conclusion: the mere fact that mongoloid child thing is related to Taz makes Taz soft as shit. He could not even raise a hard ass kid because shit was not real enough in the Taz household to toughen that little shit up.
So to all the fucking bros with your don't tread on me Taz tatoos/bumper stickers, turn the Nickle Back down on your ipod and sit on it.
Umm, lets cool our jets history channel, all of the slow-mo hammering and bullets being fired and sounds of people landing on the moon dude getting an oil shower...it's all just a bit much, lets cool it with the terrible animation where only part of the scene is in color. your the history channel not a kid with his first photo editing software. It's OK to have content and incite w/o spending hours on masturbatory animations.
2)
NO ONE EVER DIES...the captains make the right decision almost every time, and as it turns out watching people work 50 hour days gets really old after a while. They bring in gear, smoke, fight, get hit by big waves, I've seen and am done with it...Call me back when they can fill my hedonistic desires with death.
3) http://www.rockstar69.com/ pretty much any energy drink is just too much, but this really takes the coke. What kind of overly sexualized tween did they have come up with the domain name. I will admit that when i created my first hotmail account when I was like 13 I 69 in it cuz I thought it was cool, but then a week later I realized how ridiculously terrible it was. This is how I imagine their target audience reacts to this
Bro 1: hey bra I was just on the Travis Pastrana website and it broght me a link to this totally ill web site.
Bro 2: oh mad chill brahhh whats it called?!!
Bro 1: Rockstar69.com
Bro 2: 69 fucking awesome, I love eating pussy bro, call me the pussy monster right!!!
Bro 1: Fuck yeah you and me fucking kill it in the clubbbbzzz, all them sluts want on our shit.
Bro 2: You know what I'm thinking?
Bro 1: Damn diggity right dude
Bro 2: you, me, a bottle of Jeager, 4 RockStar 69's and the finest tail Fresno has to offer
both hi-five
4)
Wow, JC bro must have blood pressure of like 1000. He does make me question my self, I have never felt that passionately about anything, and he is constantly about to have a heart attack, but then again I can relax and he is tight like something that would be in poor taste even for the internet.
At a recent viewing of She's Out of My League I saw a preview for The Sorcerers Apprentice staring Nicolas Cage. I naturally thought this would be the worst movie to come out this summer until I saw a preview for FurryVengeance staring my close personal friend* Brendan Fraser. I became confused, how are two Pledge This quality movies being released in theaters? But this lead to an even more important question, who is worse, the ever greasy Nic Cage or my best bro B-Fras. Well looking at their respective rottentomatoes.com indicies Nic gets an average rating of 54%, really blasting B away with his paltry 24%, but this does not tell the whole story, the real story comes in the peaks and valleys of their careers. Largely the Frasmeister has been making terrible movies his whole career, Encino Man, Airheads, and all 19 mummy movies have been predictably painful but are prototypical of B's body of work.
Nicky on the other hand has been all over the place, he was H.I. in Raising Arizona but he was also in Ghost Rider, he was the tragic cool arms dealer in Lord of War but he also made two National Treasure 1&2.
It's painful, he is like a really hot girl who is also a huge tease where as B-Fras is like that homely but slutty girl. At least with The Fras you know your gonna get laid, all you have to do is send her a nice text asking her to come over and bam! your satisfied, but not proud. But with lil' Nicky you get all excited because she is wearing some low-cut forever 21 top and a mini skirt, you take her out to the Olive Garden but you get stopped rounding first in the backseat of your Focus. Nic Cage teased us all with flashes of being a good actor and that makes it all the worse to watch him make so many unbearable movies. So kudos The Frasenator for your consistency, you realized that you are a B actor at best and ran with it, and if people are willing to pay 10 bucks to see Furry Vengeance all the power to you.
As a person who hates most nouns, hate has really lost its luster for me, but there are some acts that really get me fired up. One of those things is people who hold their cell phones to the sky to try to get better reception. First of all that is not how cell reception works, cell phone reception is broadcast through towers which broadcast radially so you could extend your arm in any direction towards the tower and you would get the same effect. Secondly, even if communication satellites did directly broadcast the signal to you, communication satellites orbit 117,337,440 fucking feet above the earth, so extending your arm towards the sky brings you apportionment .0000000256% closer to the satellite. There are no instruments in the world that I know of that are precise to the ten billionth decimal place so thinking that three feet on a scale of hundreds of millions of feet will make a difference is the most fucking retarded thing ever. I guess the real problem I have with this is how poorly people seem to understand scale or the way things work.
look at these two fucktards
In a world where the first paragraph of a subjects Wikipedia page will tell you basically anything you need to know about it, there is no excuse to stand around looking like an extra in independence day watching the alien weapon blow up a building.
First off, fuck your bitch and the click you claim. Second off, Taz ain't hard baby.
