At a recent viewing of She's Out of My League I saw a preview for The Sorcerers Apprentice staring Nicolas Cage. I naturally thought this would be the worst movie to come out this summer until I saw a preview for Furry Vengeance staring my close personal friend* Brendan Fraser. I became confused, how are two Pledge This quality movies being released in theaters? But this lead to an even more important question, who is worse, the ever greasy Nic Cage or my best bro B-Fras. Well looking at their respective rottentomatoes.com indicies Nic gets an average rating of 54%, really blasting B away with his paltry 24%, but this does not tell the whole story, the real story comes in the peaks and valleys of their careers. Largely the Frasmeister has been making terrible movies his whole career, Encino Man, Airheads, and all 19 mummy movies have been predictably painful but are prototypical of B's body of work.
Nicky on the other hand has been all over the place, he was H.I. in Raising Arizona but he was also in Ghost Rider, he was the tragic cool arms dealer in Lord of War but he also made two National Treasure 1&2.
It's painful, he is like a really hot girl who is also a huge tease where as B-Fras is like that homely but slutty girl. At least with The Fras you know your gonna get laid, all you have to do is send her a nice text asking her to come over and bam! your satisfied, but not proud. But with lil' Nicky you get all excited because she is wearing some low-cut forever 21 top and a mini skirt, you take her out to the Olive Garden but you get stopped rounding first in the backseat of your Focus. Nic Cage teased us all with flashes of being a good actor and that makes it all the worse to watch him make so many unbearable movies. So kudos The Frasenator for your consistency, you realized that you are a B actor at best and ran with it, and if people are willing to pay 10 bucks to see Furry Vengeance all the power to you.
*I am not actually friends with Brendan Fraser
No comments:
Post a Comment