Things that are way too intense

1)

Umm, lets cool our jets history channel, all of the slow-mo hammering and bullets being fired and sounds of people landing on the moon dude getting an oil shower...it's all just a bit much, lets cool it with the terrible animation where only part of the scene is in color. your the history channel not a kid with his first photo editing software. It's OK to have content and incite w/o spending hours on masturbatory animations.

2)

NO ONE EVER DIES...the captains make the right decision almost every time, and as it turns out watching people work 50 hour days gets really old after a while. They bring in gear, smoke, fight, get hit by big waves, I've seen and am done with it...Call me back when they can fill my hedonistic desires with death.

3) http://www.rockstar69.com/
pretty much any energy drink is just too much, but this really takes the coke. What kind of overly sexualized tween did they have come up with the domain name. I will admit that when i created my first hotmail account when I was like 13 I 69 in it cuz I thought it was cool, but then a week later I realized how ridiculously terrible it was. This is how I imagine their target audience reacts to this

Bro 1: hey bra I was just on the Travis Pastrana website and it broght me a link to this totally ill web site.

Bro 2: oh mad chill brahhh whats it called?!!

Bro 1: Rockstar69.com

Bro 2: 69 fucking awesome, I love eating pussy bro, call me the pussy monster right!!!

Bro 1: Fuck yeah you and me fucking kill it in the clubbbbzzz, all them sluts want on our shit.

Bro 2: You know what I'm thinking?

Bro 1: Damn diggity right dude

Bro 2: you, me, a bottle of Jeager, 4 RockStar 69's and the finest tail Fresno has to offer

both hi-five

4)

Wow, JC bro must have blood pressure of like 1000. He does make me question my self, I have never felt that passionately about anything, and he is constantly about to have a heart attack, but then again I can relax and he is tight like something that would be in poor taste even for the internet.