Ohio Girls

My dear old mom always wanted me to meet a sweet little Ohio girl and settle down, but she was not aware of the epidemic of orange skin and Ugg boots that is eating away at the gray matter of its victims brains.


Look at these poor girls, scientists beleive the infections caused by hair treatments, natty light, and spray tans has begun to erode the Myelin Sheath (which for those unfamiliar with neuro-science insulates connections between neurons so they can communicate faster).

Yes these poor girls addiction to "fashion" and looking "sexy" is literally slowing down their brains. As Ohio girls begin to converge into one person as is evident below, this disease will continue to degrade their brain function.

clones?

Looking into the eyes of the of the victims of this disease is like looking into a black hole, vapid and dark. The slowing of brain function causes these poor girl's causes all sorts of side effects. They think Dane Cook is really funny, the music of Rascal Flatts and Sugarland is really good, and love to compare their intelligence to that of 5th grader as often as possible.



But what happens to these girls when they grown up? They are cursed to a life where the pain of thought forces them to become exceedingly generic. The couple above are real they are not simply the stock photo of a picture frame. This poor woman has lost so much signal speed in her brain due to years of "beauty" abuse, that her brain can not work fast enough to form her own identity, she is instead an amalgamation of reality T.V., US weekly, and Lifetime movies. This is sadly, the state of women in Ohio and sadly women across much of the country.